HEARTWARMING: New Player Given Glasses to see the Channels labelled "HELPFUL INFORMATION"

SEATTLE, WASHINGTON - A new player has just been given a heartwarming gift from the HFTF community: a pair of reading glasses because apparently without them he's too god damn blind to see the channels clearly labelled as "helpful information."

"He kept asking for the most basic stuff that we've answered a million times and have written down in the helpful info channels, so we bought him some reading glasses to fix his inability to comprehend basic English" explained server regular rEalde, who wrote the channels himself. "For a few days I was convinced he didn't actually speak English and was using google translate to speak. It was beyond frustrating."

The new player, HeckaCoolDude, was very happy about the gift. "For the longest time I just couldn't see the channels no matter how hard I looked, so I stopped trying to read them, now I can see them clearly!"

When asked what his thoughts on Hecka's comments were, rEalde pinched his cheeks before jumping out a window, and has been hospitalized for the months to come.

Now able to read the channels clearly named "how to time stop" and "BnB Training Mode," Hecka will be thoroughly training his Dio so he can stop time as quickly as he can, and is looking to make his tournament debut in the upcoming AnimEVO event.

More updates to follow.